"Counselling sessions, integrity and taking responsibility"

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"Counselling sessions, integrity and taking responsibility"

Post  thankGod on 21/02/10, 10:24 pm

Throughout my years at Saskatoon Christian Centre, I was always led to believe that the leaders were almost "super-human". They always appeared perfect in nearly every way. They often boasted of how their family life and other relationships were in order, and therefore, we could trust them implicitly. Both privately and from the pulpit I was told that if I don't trust the leaders, I was not totally trusting God. However, I experienced several things over the years that proved otherwise. Here is an example of what I mean:

On one occasion, endeavouring to be open and transparent in a “counselling session” as we were all encouraged to be, I realized that the transparency was not mutual nor was it respected or protected. I opened up and shared some struggles I was having at the time. A few weeks later, I found out that the information I shared was not only spread around, but also twisted and blown out of proportion. It came back to me from someone living in a completely different country, believe it or not. They asked about it, saying that they had heard some of these and other details that concerned them, and they wanted to make sure everything was okay and confirm that the news was true. There was no one else that knew this personal information besides a few very close family members, and the only way it could have gotten to this other person was through the leaders I was led to trust and believe to be full of integrity. Unfortunately, when asked why this happened, the leaders proceeded to cover their “blessed assurances” by getting the person who had heard it to apologize and take all of the blame. How sad. In several years of my attendance, I don’t ever remember hearing a leader humbly take responsibility for these kinds of major errors. I may have heard a couple of pulpit apologies for minor “misjudgements” or “sorrow for being too merciful or longsuffering”, but never “I made a terrible mistake, and I take full responsibility.” Instead it was always covering for mistakes and denying any responsibility. Too bad “love” didn’t cover for me and my information the way it always seemed to cover for those in leadership.

Another very striking thing that I noticed related to taking responsibility is that the leaders so readily take responsibility for the “good fruit” in the lives of the “sheep”. When one of my family members were wanting to leave the church, the leaders went on and on about how the church was responsible for who he/she had become and the fact that his/her life was successful. It was said that he/she owed their life to the church. However, they seemed to never realize that you can’t pick and choose which fruit to claim and which to dismiss as someone else’s “problem”. You either accept responsibility for the good fruit as well as all of the bad, or you can’t take any credit at all. What about all of the struggling, non-perfect, deep in debt, messed up, NORMAL, WELL-MEANING, SPIRITUALLY/EMOTIONALLY/VERBALLY ABUSED, braindead, second-rate parents with disobedient children, "darling heart but stupid head" people still attending SCC? What about their fruit?

thankGod
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