It's always my fault

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It's always my fault

Post  Enlightened on 23/02/10, 02:44 pm

I remember telling my counsellor several times that I found the preaching at SCC offensive sometimes, and that the preachers were often downright rude and frankly, bad-mannered in how they spoke to people! I was told that the truth 'hurts' our flesh and our feelings, but if I learned to 'listen with my spirit,' than I would be able to accept the truth by putting down my flesh and feelings. I now see this as being abusive for 2 reasons: 1) How far do I go 'putting down my feelings' and letting someone berate and verbally abuse me, and make me feel like I am a nobody or second-rate all the time? And then 2) I notice now that the blame was always put on me-it was my fault for not 'taking control' of my emotions, it was my fault for intepreting the "Word" that way, and it was my problem that I couldn't seem to get past these "issues." Never once did my counsellor acknowledge that maybe sometimes the preachers did make mistakes, and that sometimes they were too harsh... For this reason I spent so much time trying to 'overcome' my flesh during church services, but instead I would always end up feeling like I couldn't do it and therefore thought I just wasn't a spiritual enough Christian. Hence, it was a relief to leave that church!

Enlightened

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