Outward Appearance

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Outward Appearance

Post  thankful (I left) on 28/03/10, 10:52 pm

I lost count of the times, sitting in the office of an elder and once in the office of the pastor at SCC, I was told that there was something wrong with the way I parise/worship God. I clearly remember the watchful eyes of a couple of the older leaders, then those of their up-and-coming kids pretending to be God as they evaluated people's praise/worship performance. I remember performing for them for years.

At one point, something happened inside me that changed my perspective. I cannot recall what it was exactly, but I stopped caring what they thought of me. I lost the desire to be in the "inner-circle" of the head family and all the others, who for one reason or another, made it inside that even more elite group (the elite within an elite church).

As I started to express my worship to God in the way that was natural and genuine, I began to hear feedback from leadership about it. I was told that I looked too intense and that I needed more joy (by this time I had several other reasons to be a bit upset with things: i.e. doctrine, methods of dealing with people and finances, negative talk about people by leadership, etc...so I am sure I did look disturbed especially during most sermons). I also stopped dancing almost all together because it was rarely in my heart to do. I refrained from going to the front as I found the pressure was too high up there to go back into performance mode. I simply stayed in my spot and worshipped God from my heart. I refrained from singing certain lines in songs, because I either disagreed with them or I felt like I couldn't live up to what I was singing (i.e. I didn't feel right about singing things like "I fall face down" unless I was willing to do so right then and there, so sometimes I did, and others I didn't). As a result, I was told that I was hindering the flow, and that something was wrong with me and my relationship with God.

When I asked what they wanted me to do, I was instructed to start looking more into the songs, to not close my eyes so tightly, to not lift my hands when everyone else was dancing and dance with them, and so on. They basically asked me to look like everyone else. They didn't seem to care much about my heart. Needless to say, I didn't follow their "counsel".

Thank God that He looks at our hearts and knows what is real and what is fake. I hated faking it for so long...I loved it when I finally made the choice to start worshipping God from my heart. It is just so unfortunate that this is not what they wanted. I didn't fit there...I am certainly "thankful (I left)"!

thankful (I left)

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Join date : 2010-03-02

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Cookie cutter christian

Post  finally free on 30/03/10, 08:08 pm

You know in the modern church we are all told be like everyone else. Is that the way God created us. I do not think so . Everyone is created in His image, but look at how BIG our God is. He is like all of us rolled into one. Each one unique in their own way. Why not just let God be who He is in us, instead of us conforming to what man thinks we should be. Does God really value the person that dances more than the one who doesn't? Or is the perception only for the eyes of the beholder. Look at me I must be spiritual, because I dance or because I don't. Be who He created you to be nothing more nothing less. By the way God will not love you more or less than He already has. Don't forget that while you were yet a sinner He died for you., not after you accepted Him.

finally free

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Lookin' on the heart

Post  FreedMan on 02/04/10, 12:55 pm

I heard that "God looks on our heart and that man can only judge by outward appearances" so many times that I want to throw up!

As finally free said, "Why not just let God be who He is in us, instead of us conforming to what man thinks we should be".

Does our clothing, cleanliness, hair length, tatoos, piercings (or lack of), possessions, physical demonstrations during worship, giving or church attendance really, truly, show who Jesus is to us?

Or do our actions - one to one, to our family, friends and even more so - to strangers really reveal who we are and to what extent the love of Christ has changed us?

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Re: Outward Appearance

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